You probably know from your own experience that the more you
think of any particular memory, the stronger that memory becomes. This also makes it easier to bring that
memory to mind later. So you have a
great weekend, you think about it a lot, that memory becomes strong, and it
pops into mind more often later.
There is some new evidence that the same thing happens with
particular emotions and attitudes. If
you are constantly dwelling on negativity or complaining about negative things
that happen, the negative brain center gets stronger and the more likely you
are to think negatively about future events, even if they aren’t so bad. It becomes a self-reinforcing cycle. The more negative you are about something
today, the more you will be negative about something else tomorrow and the more
that negative experiences from the past will come to mind. The best thing to do when you are
experiencing something negative is to keep your mouth shut about it and quickly
think about something else. Or at least
reframe the negative experience in your mind so that it doesn’t seem so bad.
With that in mind, I have two stories to share that at first
seemed negative but I am reframing them.
I moved in to my new apartment two weeks ago. At the time, I remember unpacking my coasters,
not knowing where to put them yet, so I put them aside to unpack later. For the past week I have been searching and
searching for them because I know where to put them now and I have needed them
a few times (or at least one of them).
Coasters aren’t a huge deal, but it was really annoying to know that
they are somewhere. I have looked in
every box, bin, and drawer and they are nowhere to be found. I could have thrown them away by mistake, but
I don’t think so. I could have put them
in my donation pile and given them away by mistake, but I don’t think so. I have now come to the conclusion that the
underwear gnomes took them.
That brings me to the second story. For the past 10-15 years, I have had really
bad insomnia. It started out with me
falling asleep pretty fast, but then waking up after only an hour of sleep and
then falling back asleep only an hour before I had to wake up. So I would just be getting two 1-hour naps
(plus a third one during the afternoon at work if I had time). A few years later, it moved to falling asleep
right away, waking up after a few hours, and then being up the rest of the night. Then a few years after that, it moved to not
being able to fall asleep at all until just before I had to wake up. Then just last week I started on my fourth
different kind of insomnia. I didn’t
even know there were four kinds of insomnia, so it has been a learning
experience for me. Now, I fall asleep
pretty quickly, wake up just ½ hour or so before my alarm, but feel like I
haven’t slept at all.
I couldn’t figure out how this is possible until I connected
the two stories. Apparently, the
underwear gnomes are interfering with my sleep while they look for more things
to steal in my apartment.
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